Fairy Business as Usual

This month's card is Exuberance, from Denise Linn’s new Mystical Garden Oracle deck.  This card invites us into the part of the mystical garden where the wildflowers are blooming and the fairies are playing among them. There are Cumulus clouds billowing in the sky- looking like a thunderstorm might be approaching- but for now all in the garden is Fairy business as usual.  

As I stared at this card I began to wonder, do Fairies play? Or is play the nature of their work? In myth and legend, fairies have many different roles- some seem quite lighthearted like decorating the grass with dew, to quite serious ones- like fighting for preservation of the natural world.

Do many people move through life carrying more responsibility than delight? 

When I was younger and had three kids at home, I was a list maker. Before bed each night, I would review my calendar and make a list of all the things I thought I needed to do the next day. In the morning, I would review the list again and add the things I had forgotten. Almost without fail, the next evening would roll around and there would still be items left unchecked, waiting to be moved to the following day’s list.

I was getting tired, but I kept staying up a little later to get just one more thing done. I started doubling up tasks. I could make phone calls from the car while waiting to pick someone up, or delete emails while waiting for pasta water to boil. When the list system still wasn’t working, I began intentionally moving three things onto tomorrow’s list before the day even began. At least then I felt closer to “finishing.”

Then one day I heard about the idea of doing a time audit. For about two weeks, I kept both a To Do list and a Done list, writing down everything that took more than fifteen minutes of my time. What I discovered surprised me. There was far more on my Done list than I had ever included on my To Do list.

And some of the things that never made the Done list were wonderful. Chasing the end of a rainbow with the kids before it disappeared, for instance. Some things were necessary, like washing the dog after he rolled in something awful. Others were unexpected gifts, like a forty-five-minute phone call with my faraway sister.

Here is what I learned: you do not always have to do everything on your list. And if you try to, you may miss the unexpected joys along the way. Unavoidable things will arise and take precedence. Life does not always fit neatly onto a checklist. I do not really make lists that often anymore.

Here are some more things I learned- if your kids want to wear matching socks- and mine didn’t- they can do that themselves. That many hands make light work, and there is a beauty in discerning what needs to happen, and what doesn’t. 

This is the invitation of Exuberance card. You don’t need to do it all yourself. You may not even need to do it!  There was a wonderful book called “Burnout” by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. This was the first time that I really contemplated the idea between a human being and a human doing.  The exuberance card is an invitation to be a human being. This invitation is to take some time and figure out what really needs to be done, and what can be left undone, so you have the time to watch the clouds change shape or play with your pet, or even paint if that is what you think you might like to do. 

Exuberance: being full of energy and enthusiasm. The idea of living with exuberance becomes a lot more possible when you don’t feel overburdened with To Do’s. Maybe that is why the fairies seem so lightheaded and magical. They do what they must, and don’t do any more. They allow for time to just enjoy the fruits of their labor, and the beautiful space they created. So this month consider moving through your day like a flower fairy- that way you won’t forget to stop and smell the roses.